Klowns in my Koffee

Daily Kup (My Life Schlepping Cookies)
The Girl Scout cookie season is a long one, my friends. It starts innocently enough with selling a couple of boxes of Thin Mints to Grandma or that nice lady down the street. But it doesn't stop there.

Soon you're into the Do-Si-Does and Lemon Chalet Cremes. It seems like a social thing at first. Everyone does it. It's for charity after all. You can control it ...

...Until the day you find yourself locked in a bathroom with a box of Tagalongs. They're rich and thick and peanut buttery. Before you know it, the plastic tray is empty and the little girls on the box stare at you with their cold, heartless eyes.

"Send us to camp. We want to go to camp."

You slam your hands over your ears to shut them out. They're everywhere you look. The refrain echoes in your sugar-filled brain.

"You went to camp. Why can't we?"

You stagger out of the bathroom past your friends leaning over a tray of Dulce de Leches.

You need the heavy stuff: Samoas. Your friends are worried. They've noticed the empty boxes artfully hidden in the trash under the cat litter. The empty piggy banks. The missing change cup from the dresser.

Confronted, you snap. "I don't have a problem. YOU have a problem. I only want those poor girls to go to camp. That's just how I roll."

You know that you are lying to everyone and to yourself most of all. Those crumbs on the front of your shirt tell the story. Hot, misty tears roll down your face and into a box of Thank You Berry Munch.

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If this is your story, it's not too late. There is help for you out there. You just have to trust in a higher power. Like the Girl Scouts. But first, please buy my last three crappy boxes of Trefoils. If I sell these, I'm done for the year -- and my daughter wants to earn the plastic necklace. And to go to camp.

A Snowball's Dance in Hell
Meet a rhythmic and talented pile of feathers called "Snowball." This video from a few years ago marked the cockatoo's film debut and he's never looked back. He's made several videos since then and even a holiday album.

As a dancer, he's not even as good as Bristol Palin, but he's got soul ...and probably a gizzard.

I admit to a weakness for Snowball's rendition of Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust," if only to marvel at his endurance. He does a Michael Jackson tribute, but unfortunately does not moon walk. The latest video shows him strutting his stuff to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance."

Now there's a fan who really does have a Poker Face.



In the News
Embattled public figure makes delusional statements and announces victories not evident to witnesses on the scene. Wealth and power are marshalled to forestall the crowds calling for his removal as the world watches the engrossing downward spiral.

Of course, I mean Libya's Gadhafi. Who else is dominating the news?

Breaking Story: President Obama considers no-fly zone over Charlie Sheen.