Klowns in my Koffee

Daily Kup (My Life in Wind Chill)
Meeting breezes face on at a wind chill of -16 degrees makes me feel like the Joker from Batman, greeting the world with a frozen, contorted grimace as my cheeks try to hide in my ears for warmth.

A few minutes before, I had felt only too warm as a police car followed me for blocks. It was a low speed chase as I formed justifications in my head for why the registration tabs were on my kitchen table and not on my license plates. I practiced an innocent look while citing the dropdead date for tab display, "It's not the tenth of the month yet, is it?" The squad car followed me into the parking lot and turned when I turned. And kept on going.

Whew! A sense of guilt is apparently independent of whether I'm actually doing something wrong or not.

Since I was driving to the building that houses the District Court, Motor Vehicle Bureau, and a Regional Library, I suppose it's not surprising that a police officer would be headed there also. It just seems to take very long to get there at 28 miles per hour.

The library was the scene of another terrific writing class sponsored in cooperation with Minnesota literary gem, The Loft. This time the topic was capturing life-changing experiences. Going in, I felt that I could stand my life-changing experiences toe-to-toe with a lot of people and at least emerge with a draw, so this seemed the class for me. Then I met a woman at the class who was thinking of chronicling her battle with multiple sclerosis as it was progressively ripping away her life, so I realized that the hubris that I expressed in the previous sentence was absolute crap. That epiphany in itself made the class time priceless.

Klowns in the News
Is there some kind of bank where they save this stuff up and release it at once so that the first items you read one morning all seem bizarre? Each of these stories is sad and pathetic and more 'funny odd' than 'funny ha-ha.'

Armed Rooster Kills California Man

A man attending an illegal cockfight (is there any other kind?) was stabbed by a rooster with a knife strapped to its leg in the confusion that arose when the cops arrived. This is justice as doled out by Rod Serling. If only chihuahuas carrying machetes could stalk Michael Vick.

Low IQ Man Banned From Having Sex

Odd. In my experience, it's usually the very bright that have difficulty in this area.

A different way to interpret this headline: Husband Does Another Stupid Thing

Facebook Founder Stalked on Facebook

I didn't know what a 'petard' was, but if there was ever a situation to be 'hoist on one's own,' this is it. Check the link to learn that the word petard has its source in the Middle French word for expelling intestinal gas. Oh, those French make everything sound better.

Catholic Church Launches Confession iPhone App

What seems particularly appealing about this $1.99 application are the games. Is heaven in the clouds or in The Cloud?

Woman Who Mailed Puppy Will Not Get It Back

This woman should also probably be banned from having sex.